Looking forward to my birthday for the first time in years!

FlamingBirthdayCake Tomorrow is my birthday… a day that I have dreaded for most of my life.  It was on my birthday almost 20 years ago that I found out that I had diabetes.  It was on my Birthday that I had my wisdom teeth pulled.  In the past I have only had contempt for my birthday. 

Last year on my birthday I weighed nearly 360 pounds… I went to the family reunion and felt awful… I shared a hotel room with my mother and had trouble breathing.  I did not want to go out.  I did not have my C-PAP machine  to sleep with.  That night I snored terribly… when we woke up mom said she thought I sounded like I was going to die.  Truth is I was on that path… I really believe that if I did not do something I would have died soon thereafter.  I believe when this picture was taken I was around 368-370 pounds.PICT1793

I look at my picture and feel bad.  I still have that shirt and it hangs on me now… The pants I was wearing I can’t wear anymore… they are way to big.  I am watching little muscles that I did not even know I had dance on my forearm as I type this in.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not by any means skinny now…  I weigh in at 223 ponds right now… that’s a weight loss of 137 pounds.  I still have a ways to go.  But it felt good to try on a pair of pants that were a size 38 in the waist.  Even Murphy and his laws are messing with me right now.  When I was a size 46 all I could ever find was size 38… in everything I liked.  Now I can’t find 38’s but can find 46’s at more than $10 the cost of the 38’s.  I guess I should be happy that others have lost too… (hope that’s the case).

I’m not done yet… this was taken at last years family reunion… this year I will have many pictures taken… I want a picture with everyone I love… my distant cousins and my Aunts, Uncles… EVERYONE.  I also hear that many of my family will look different this year.  Can’t wait to blog on it… but tomorrow I’m going to rock those new jeans… and have the best birthday ever.


Looking forward to my birthday for the first time in years! — 1 Comment

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